In the immortal words of Socrates, "...I drank what?"

Things I appreciate/that make me happy today:

*Breakfast: Toasted bagel with cream cheese in the car. I need a bagel, and you know I need a bagel. A bagel with cream cheese. Yeah the cream cheese, everybody likes the cream and the cheese and the cheesey cream... And a cup of coffee, I definitely need a cup of coffee, so you get up and drive me...

*Being on time!

*Getting to practice with the gorgeous La Marzocco espresso machine (I'll try to take a picture for y'all at some point) and digital auto-grinder making lattes, cappucinos, tea lattes, etc., and making a pretty kick-ass first attempt at a soy cappucino on this machine.

*Making my own wonderful little espresso drink: two ristretto shots (pretty good this morning, a little on the fast side...) about 1/2 cup of cold soy juice/liquid (milk, whatever, it's not milk, it's bean juice. Like coffee!), and ice. Yum... When I buy coffee out, I often get two shots of espresso on ice, and then ask for soy. It's partially because that way it's cheaper for me, but also because I get to control the amount I'm putting in - typical lattes (esp. cold) are far too milky for my taste in general. I made this for R once when I was working for Bucks County in Philly (I miss you!!) and she said it had quite a kick - it's true! I like my kick...

*Frightened Rabbit:


*Driving near the ocean

*xkcd

*Foamy the Squirrel. I have recently decided that my grandmother basically is Foamy, but with less of a foul mouth most of the time. I showed her a few, and she loves him. More on this later, I promise.

*Having free time and errands to run within that free time.

Stuff that needs to be done:
*Random emailing

*Letter to France

*Playtime with music blog

*Phonology reading, other reading

*Target exchange

*DISHES

*Laundry/cleaning

*Run?

Recent Highlights:
a) Job Woes are over! Yay. I have accepted two positions as a barista, let's call them BI and BR. Both are part time, together they are around full time, plus or minus depending on scheduling demands. I am training at both jobs at the moment, and should go to actual shifts for at least one when I come back from Iowa - my best friend from high school is getting married. Crazy!
............1) BR is amazing, and really serious about their coffee, and I am a little in love. I just returned from a two-hour comprehensive training session covering the pulling of espresso, and I pulled the best shot I have probably ever made. I was very pleased! For the training period, I am getting paid a considerable amount less per hour than I should be (in terms of personal earning goals for the next month, it's still at a completely legal level, don't worry!), but if/when I graduate the training period, I will be making more, plus tips, and that will be good. It still won't be a lot, but it will be more than I have ever made as a barista, even when I was a shift manager at my last café. If nothing else, this job will give me mad hot coffee skillz, and that is fantastic.
............2) BI is fine. Basically, the attraction to this place is the money. I'm making nearly twice as much here as I am at BR, and doing less work. Based on the kind of businesses they are and the kind of customer base they are each serving, this makes total sense, yet I am not too excited about it. It feels a bit like something a trained monkey with customer service skills could do. So, I'm the smiling and efficient, but, most importantly, well-paid monkey. At least for the time being.
b) Mom and I are no longer fighting. Awesome.
c) I have gained a free desk, and two free corner bookshelves. Yay free stuff!

The list of things I am loving:
a) BR, obviously.
b) Seeing the beach at night as I drive
c) Slightly cooler weather
d) Music stuff - need to post more to the music blog!
e) Watching the Olympics with A and her housemates.

The list of things I am not necessarily loving:
a) Living with Nonna - I will go into this much more later, when I don't need to be in bed soon.
b) The amount of pressure I am feeling from BR - they are serious about their business, which is something I really admire, but I would be lying if I said I were not nervous about the learning curve. I have barista habits from other places, and those may very well be hard to break. This place likes things done a certain way, so I will have to focus pretty hard on retraining myself, especially when things get busy.
c) The whole situation (lucrativeness aside) at BI. It will get better when I am at the location where I will end up after training, but I am still uneasy.
d) How dry my hands are/are going to get due to all the hand-washing my jobs require.

The list of things I have realized today that I really, really miss:
a) Using the term "sweet as".
b) New Zealanders
c) New Zealand
d) Walking around Metz, France
e) French trains/buses/le metro

What I want more of:
a) Time spent doing academic stuff. I miss feeling intellectually capable. There are two main outlets for me at this point, and I haven't been using either of them. poo.
b) Time spent reading stuff for fun.
c) Time spent watching crime shows. And sci fi. I know this is silly, and it's not necessary, but it's fun.
d) Money for fun things like furniture and room decorations. All in good time, I suppose.

Well, that's all for now, kids. Time for sleeping.

Love,
B.

I've grown more and more anxious over the past month, and nothing is going to change unless I take proactive steps myself. Since I am apparently incapable of posting anything worthwhile at the moment, here are some lists that will make me feel better/help me organize/help me figure out what's up:

ToDo!List:
Email - Corie
Kris

Letters - S and S
D and A
L

Read - Phonological Theory: The essential readings
etc. (Godel, Escher and Bach? Ulysses? Borges Book?)

Jobs - FIND ONE. Jesus, people are so rude! I have not heard back now from three separate jobs, all of which I followed up on. What gives? Seriously? NOT cool.

Bake - Apple and Zucchini muffins (+ nuts?), Double recipe from Moosewood Cookbook (yay!)

Call - Geico, other car insurance providers
DMV re: residence, insurance question
Dad (w/ info regarding above inquiries)
Joe (good grief, just do it already!!)

Work On - DME (good grief, just do it already!!)
Music blog!!

Other List -->

What would make life totally flippin' awesome:

* Beautiful house w/ friendly roommates (note, cmoore, I am jealous! jealous! also, I miss you. *pout*)
(sub-note: I have actually agreed to take an apartment with someone from my department, a second year. She seems very nice, as does her live-in boyfriend, but I don't really know her yet so I'm a little nervous/anxious. Also, the apartment is only a year old, which is nice in terms of appliances, paint, etc., but it is also grad student housing and thus feels like a dorm more than a house which is disappointing. But less expensive. And money isn't exactly falling from the skies for me at the moment. And on-campus parking is expensive. And I get a permit for the complex's lot with my lease. Which is nice. Look, another short pseudo-sentence.)

* Greater source of income. yeah.

* More time spent reading.

* More time spent listening to music w/o being distracted by other tasks/thoughts.

* More time spent writing.

* More time spent cooking.

* Time spent speaking French with people. Miss!!!

* A garden.

* A big ol' PUPPY.

Now, to implement at least some of these. Hmmm...

ETA: But! I went running with A last night and, despite a brief episode of my reproductive organs trying to kill me, it rocked. Need to do more. More more more. Perhaps in a couple of days when I am not dying.

Dear uterus,
no babies for you!
no babies.

no.

no love,
B.

So. Another weekend has gone by, and I have done next to nothing, besides starting "Love in the Time of Cholera". I love Gabriel Garcia Marquez, the only problem is that I feel it takes me three times as long to read him as it would to read something else. His sentences are so charged, and if I don't pay attention fully during every one, I feel I will miss something, and because I enjoy him so much I don't want to miss anything. This constant full attention, however, eats up my energy and I get distracted, and end up putting the book down, and thus it takes even longer to read him.

I feel so bored, and what's bothering me is that I have not been doing anything to fix this. I think it is time to make some good lists, of things I want to accomplish in my last two and a half months here, and things that I would like to do in the interim (hopefully an interim! *crosses fingers for grad schools*) after I get back to the US. I feel a burst of obsessive organizing/planning coming on, which is a very welcome thing at this point.

Hmph. Makeshift list:

1) Keep reading Phonological Theory: The essential readings. Take notes. You can do this outside, even, or at a café. (Get out of the house more!! Argh!)

2) Dreaded Mass Email #2! Finish it! It's only going to get longer if you keep not sending it because there's more to add. SEND. Ok, ok, 'polish' and send.

3) Keep working on the time/brain topic. This is interesting. You like it. There is little to no pressure. You don't have to worry so much. Just read, keep some goals in mind, and go where it takes you.

4) Contact Mom and Bess to ask about trip - need to plan our itinerary. Hmmm... questions: how much money do we have available for trip fund? where does Mom want to see? where does Bess want to see? how much can Bess practically do in a day without tiring herself out (she is in her 80's)? talk to Bess about possibility of getting her a senior card for the trains - expensive at first, but almost immediately worth it in savings.

5) Read about Nancy, Strasbourg, Brussels, Barcelona, Prague, Sweden (contact M. now. do it.) for own upcoming travels. (Morocco? Turkey? Greece? ... mmm, yeah probably not. pesky return ticket prices. gotta get back to the US somehow.)

6) Read about Paris, Versailles, Vallée de la Loire, Bretagne, Normandie, Provence, Côte d'Azur, wine tasting tours (I know my mom too well) for trip w/ Mom & Bess

7) Try and figure out how to get time off for a visit from K (I loves you wifey!) - talk to D/C/I about dates the students may have off in March.

******* 8) CARDS. Write thank you cards. BUY thank you cards. Now.

9) Start jogging again. I don't care if people look at you like you are nuts/growing extra limbs or eyeballs, do it anyway. It's not like you are ever going to meet/have a conversation with any of them.

10) Start grocery shopping at Cora. It is worth the bus ride in terms of potential variety/savings.

Good Start.