In the immortal words of Socrates, "...I drank what?"

1) Online syntactic trees

2) Smawrt Mawrtyrs

Sort of rocking my socks, if I look at this very optimistically:
3) My "delinquent" rent being nearly painlessly taken care of: I paid rent on the 3rd (I have a window between the 1st and 5th), it was not marked as rent by the cashier's office, even though I also turned in the slip that said RENT on it. I received an email today telling me that I had not yet paid and would be charged an additional $20 fee. I called, told the woman on the phone that I had in fact paid, we discovered the problem described above, and she has (apparently, though I do need to go check) removed the fee.

List listy list:

1) I changed my headlight bulb! I'm so proud of myself. And also of Em, a friend of A's who helped me (read: she did a significant amount of the work - I was so scared I was going to hurt my car!) I spent about $7.50 on the bulb, and saved myself the $70+ it would have cost me to take it to a mechanic. It just seemed silly to take my car to a specialist just to change a light bulb. And now that I know what everything is supposed to look like, it is totally totally do-able. My only beef with the set-up is that, in my car, the driver's side headlight is difficult to get to. All the other business going on under the hood really crunches in on that space, so the button and lever combination is very difficult to activate. We pushed the button with my key, and Em got the lever up, finally! I was so frustrated with it, because when I tried the lever it just wouldn't leve. I used a glove to handle the halogen bulb, and got it all hooked up, and then we coaxed the entire housing back into the body of the car once we found the helpful grooves.

Side note: I drive a '99 VW Beetle. When we finally extracted the entire headlight from the car, I had to literally close my mouth and stop myself from saying (in front of my non-SGA-watching/reading friends) the first thing that came to my mind, which was "Oh my god, it looks just like a puddle-jumper." I will try to remember to take the headlight out again and snap a picture, just so you can see how much of a resemblance there really is.

2) I'm putting my room together. It is exciting! I need a desk. And a lamp. And to clean more. And I'd like some more plants in my life...
2b) I am thinking about trying to grow jasmine indoors. Apparently, it can be done. There are some bushes at the 7-11 by A's house which have really nicely shaped blossoms. I am thinking about surreptitiously taking a couple of cuttings and trying to propagate those. Thoughts?

3) I bought one of those metal water bottles to replace the Nalgene my brother appropriated, and it's been good. I mean, they're supposed to be better for you in terms of germ-prevention and whatnot. I've noticed that my water does taste a bit metallic, though, of which I am not a fan. And then today, I pulled an amazingly stupid stunt where I kept the bottle in the freezer to make the water cold, then took it out, forgot it was really really cold, and tried to drink from it, subsequently losing skin from both top and bottom lips to stupidity and extremely cold metal.

4) EMAIL, oh my god email. I need to get to this as soon as humanly possible. After I sleep...

5) Ling:
- bake something for grad coordinator to say sorry for being disorganized this summer
- claim/set up desk in department
- make hypothetical schedule

6) I like hops. I never thought the day would come when I would utter that sentiment. Stone IPA? Wins.

Some good/maybe-not-so-good connected points of news:

As of tomorrow, I graduate training at Bird Rock Coffee Roasters - this is "BR", the place I have been raving about non-stop, sorry if you are getting sick of it, but I'm a little in love. I am ecstatic about this, as it means that I am doing well, and I also will start to get tips, and hopefully a raise in the near future. I was also complimented on my conscientiousness by the owner/manager, and we're working up to making me (probably) a weekend manager. This is fan-freakin-tastic for a few reasons: more and more varied/in depth experience; more responsibility under my belt/on my resume; more money; and a real relationship with a business for which I have a great amount of respect. This is all wonderful, but there is one very important con: time. I don't have a lot of it to spare. At the moment I do, lots and lots of time, but starting on the 17th I will have next to none. I will be a grad student, and working 50% time as a TA. That's 20 hours a week, less if I'm fast, more if I'm slow/have a shit-ton of students/have special projects or papers or tests to grade. This weekend managerial position would be from 9-6 on Saturday and Sunday. That's 18 hours, plus the half hour it takes to clean and break down the shop, which makes about 19 hours. So, if you add that, that's 20-ish plus 19-ish hours a week, which, let's round, is about 40 hours per week. What's that? Oh. That's full time. Grad Studies + Full Time Job? Hmmmm... I sense an oncoming conflict. And apparently, the first year in the program is hell, not just a hell-week, ladies, and one that I'm not so sure will end with flowers. As you might expect, this is making me a bit nervous. So, I think we're going to try it out, maybe a month, and see what happens. I really really really (really) don't want to have to leave the café. I love it. But I'm in grad school to get my degree, and I might have to make sacrifices. We shall see. Hopefully, if it comes to it, I can just work fewer hours. Goodness. What will happen? Who knows?

Random observation:
I talked to Nonna on the phone this afternoon, to let her know that I can pick her up from the airport on Wednesday. It was maybe a five minute conversation, but she managed to ask me three times if I was eating enough. She could definitely give the mom from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" a run for her money.

"Are you hungry?"
"Uh, no, thank you, I already ate."
"Ok, I make you something."

Things I appreciate/that make me happy today:

*Breakfast: Toasted bagel with cream cheese in the car. I need a bagel, and you know I need a bagel. A bagel with cream cheese. Yeah the cream cheese, everybody likes the cream and the cheese and the cheesey cream... And a cup of coffee, I definitely need a cup of coffee, so you get up and drive me...

*Being on time!

*Getting to practice with the gorgeous La Marzocco espresso machine (I'll try to take a picture for y'all at some point) and digital auto-grinder making lattes, cappucinos, tea lattes, etc., and making a pretty kick-ass first attempt at a soy cappucino on this machine.

*Making my own wonderful little espresso drink: two ristretto shots (pretty good this morning, a little on the fast side...) about 1/2 cup of cold soy juice/liquid (milk, whatever, it's not milk, it's bean juice. Like coffee!), and ice. Yum... When I buy coffee out, I often get two shots of espresso on ice, and then ask for soy. It's partially because that way it's cheaper for me, but also because I get to control the amount I'm putting in - typical lattes (esp. cold) are far too milky for my taste in general. I made this for R once when I was working for Bucks County in Philly (I miss you!!) and she said it had quite a kick - it's true! I like my kick...

*Frightened Rabbit:


*Driving near the ocean

*xkcd

*Foamy the Squirrel. I have recently decided that my grandmother basically is Foamy, but with less of a foul mouth most of the time. I showed her a few, and she loves him. More on this later, I promise.

*Having free time and errands to run within that free time.

Stuff that needs to be done:
*Random emailing

*Letter to France

*Playtime with music blog

*Phonology reading, other reading

*Target exchange

*DISHES

*Laundry/cleaning

*Run?

Good LORD, am I caffeinated...

I feel like my veins are twitching. I've had three and a half shots of espresso since about 11 am, it is now about 2pm. Goodness! I am twitchy and distractible, and am feeling an intense need to clean and organize everything in sight.

Here we go...

Recent Highlights:
a) Job Woes are over! Yay. I have accepted two positions as a barista, let's call them BI and BR. Both are part time, together they are around full time, plus or minus depending on scheduling demands. I am training at both jobs at the moment, and should go to actual shifts for at least one when I come back from Iowa - my best friend from high school is getting married. Crazy!
............1) BR is amazing, and really serious about their coffee, and I am a little in love. I just returned from a two-hour comprehensive training session covering the pulling of espresso, and I pulled the best shot I have probably ever made. I was very pleased! For the training period, I am getting paid a considerable amount less per hour than I should be (in terms of personal earning goals for the next month, it's still at a completely legal level, don't worry!), but if/when I graduate the training period, I will be making more, plus tips, and that will be good. It still won't be a lot, but it will be more than I have ever made as a barista, even when I was a shift manager at my last café. If nothing else, this job will give me mad hot coffee skillz, and that is fantastic.
............2) BI is fine. Basically, the attraction to this place is the money. I'm making nearly twice as much here as I am at BR, and doing less work. Based on the kind of businesses they are and the kind of customer base they are each serving, this makes total sense, yet I am not too excited about it. It feels a bit like something a trained monkey with customer service skills could do. So, I'm the smiling and efficient, but, most importantly, well-paid monkey. At least for the time being.
b) Mom and I are no longer fighting. Awesome.
c) I have gained a free desk, and two free corner bookshelves. Yay free stuff!

The list of things I am loving:
a) BR, obviously.
b) Seeing the beach at night as I drive
c) Slightly cooler weather
d) Music stuff - need to post more to the music blog!
e) Watching the Olympics with A and her housemates.

The list of things I am not necessarily loving:
a) Living with Nonna - I will go into this much more later, when I don't need to be in bed soon.
b) The amount of pressure I am feeling from BR - they are serious about their business, which is something I really admire, but I would be lying if I said I were not nervous about the learning curve. I have barista habits from other places, and those may very well be hard to break. This place likes things done a certain way, so I will have to focus pretty hard on retraining myself, especially when things get busy.
c) The whole situation (lucrativeness aside) at BI. It will get better when I am at the location where I will end up after training, but I am still uneasy.
d) How dry my hands are/are going to get due to all the hand-washing my jobs require.

The list of things I have realized today that I really, really miss:
a) Using the term "sweet as".
b) New Zealanders
c) New Zealand
d) Walking around Metz, France
e) French trains/buses/le metro

What I want more of:
a) Time spent doing academic stuff. I miss feeling intellectually capable. There are two main outlets for me at this point, and I haven't been using either of them. poo.
b) Time spent reading stuff for fun.
c) Time spent watching crime shows. And sci fi. I know this is silly, and it's not necessary, but it's fun.
d) Money for fun things like furniture and room decorations. All in good time, I suppose.

Well, that's all for now, kids. Time for sleeping.

Love,
B.

So. Today is day number 50 of the gradually more and more frantic search for employment. I've been living off my last month's wages from the France job, and the kindness of friends and family members (i.e. I've been couch/bed-hopping). But, really, this has grown to be ridiculous. I really really need work, and this is cutting it damn close, which is no good at all. In fact it is very, very bad. I honestly don't know how many applications I have put out, but it is well into the double digits.

But! Things might be looking up. ( Dear Universe, please don't strike me down for trying to be optimistic!) I put in an application at a café on Tuesday (Peet's, for those of you familiar with it, CA chain, AMAZING coffee, and tea, as I learned today). I gave it to the store manager, who was a little busy when I dropped it off. We talked for a minute, and he suggested that I come in to a Management Job Fair they were having yesterday. I was a little confused, cause I wasn't looking for a management job, but a job as a barista or shift manager (supervisor, I think, as they are called here), but I said 'great!' and went in just the same.

BUT. There was a bit of a crazy happening right before, which I forgot and shall now tell you about. I went to get in my car to drive over. I unlocked the door, and noticed that it didn't beep. This means that it didn't disarm. I have a clicky key, but the clicky part is broken, so I've been unlocking the door in the old-fashioned put-the-key-in-the-lock-and-twist way. So, I thought "huh, that is odd," tried to start the car, and was unsurprised when the alarm went off. After several attempts to re-lock, unlock and start, I gave up, and was THANK YOU GOD able to take Nonna's car. Exciting.

So. I put my name down on the list, got some coffee and waited for an hour and a half. I was able to read some of my phonology book which was awesome. When it was my turn, I spoke to the interviewer for a moment and explained what I was doing there. He spoke to the manager for a moment who came to speak to me, and we set up a time for the next day (today) to chat after he got off from work. I believe it went well. I think we would get along well, and I really would like to work there. I miss being a barista. However, there is a catch. He's not exactly looking for more supervisors or baristas at the moment, so he's sending me to talk to a woman in a different location that just opened, and she apparently is looking for help of both sorts. And she is Australian, which rocks. As long as she's not the New Zealand-hating type of Australian. But, according to him she is relaxed (albeit competitive, which is very nice to have in a manager, I have found) and friendly. So, I am expecting a call from her sometime before Wednesday. I should have mentioned something that conveyed that I am in a bit of a hurry to find work, but did not. Argh. I really should have. But, I didn't want to turn them off, you know?

So, I have another interview, if she calls me back. And I have her phone number. And the guy's phone number. But, yes, it's beginning to feel like an endless interview, you know? I have now been in three times, and have another interview pending, which is no guarantee. But, this is better than what has been happening - one rejection, and no response to the rest, even when I have followed up on my application. So, I guess I will continue to apply to things while I am waiting. The desirable thing about this job is that I might be able to switch to the store closer to UCSD in the fall at between 10 and 15 hours per week, which would supplement my TA-ship income. And that would be nice. I'm a bit nervous, because the grad student I talked to from my program said that she didn't know anyone who has managed to hold down another side job. But I think I need to try. If I massively screw up, the plan at this point is to practice my yoga so I can ship myself in someone's suitcase/a box and run away to New Zealand to work illegally as a WWOOFer for the rest of my life. (</sarcasm>)

Aaaaaaand, now back to the job search.

*primal scream of dear-god-let-me-find-a-freaking-job-already-PLEASE!*

I've grown more and more anxious over the past month, and nothing is going to change unless I take proactive steps myself. Since I am apparently incapable of posting anything worthwhile at the moment, here are some lists that will make me feel better/help me organize/help me figure out what's up:

ToDo!List:
Email - Corie
Kris

Letters - S and S
D and A
L

Read - Phonological Theory: The essential readings
etc. (Godel, Escher and Bach? Ulysses? Borges Book?)

Jobs - FIND ONE. Jesus, people are so rude! I have not heard back now from three separate jobs, all of which I followed up on. What gives? Seriously? NOT cool.

Bake - Apple and Zucchini muffins (+ nuts?), Double recipe from Moosewood Cookbook (yay!)

Call - Geico, other car insurance providers
DMV re: residence, insurance question
Dad (w/ info regarding above inquiries)
Joe (good grief, just do it already!!)

Work On - DME (good grief, just do it already!!)
Music blog!!

Other List -->

What would make life totally flippin' awesome:

* Beautiful house w/ friendly roommates (note, cmoore, I am jealous! jealous! also, I miss you. *pout*)
(sub-note: I have actually agreed to take an apartment with someone from my department, a second year. She seems very nice, as does her live-in boyfriend, but I don't really know her yet so I'm a little nervous/anxious. Also, the apartment is only a year old, which is nice in terms of appliances, paint, etc., but it is also grad student housing and thus feels like a dorm more than a house which is disappointing. But less expensive. And money isn't exactly falling from the skies for me at the moment. And on-campus parking is expensive. And I get a permit for the complex's lot with my lease. Which is nice. Look, another short pseudo-sentence.)

* Greater source of income. yeah.

* More time spent reading.

* More time spent listening to music w/o being distracted by other tasks/thoughts.

* More time spent writing.

* More time spent cooking.

* Time spent speaking French with people. Miss!!!

* A garden.

* A big ol' PUPPY.

Now, to implement at least some of these. Hmmm...

ETA: But! I went running with A last night and, despite a brief episode of my reproductive organs trying to kill me, it rocked. Need to do more. More more more. Perhaps in a couple of days when I am not dying.

Dear uterus,
no babies for you!
no babies.

no.

no love,
B.

right now this very second:

While searching for jobs on craigslist, one of my search terms is 'summer', because that is perhaps that best option for me in terms of job length and season, depending on the type of job and the hours. However, more often than not that search term yields jobs with lines like the following at the end of the body inside the post:

"No summer job applicants please."

Which is fine, I mean, I realize that they need such stipulations, but it's wasting my time!

Grrrr. I suppose that's not so bad though. Not a terribly serious thing to get miffed about.

In other news, I put on a dress to run an errand today, after spending all afternoon at the beach with the littler brother. It is short, black with tiny white polka dots, faux-wrapped, and sort of va-va-voom in the bust area. Brooklyn convinced me to buy it at KOP one day a few years ago, and it is a rather attention-grabbing cut/fabric (clingy. goodness!). Anyway, I was walking to my car, and noticed that this car was sort of following me, and I thought, oh! He must want my parking space. Well, he wanted somethin', cause he pulled up to me and said "You look great in that dress." And I am 1 part flattered (compliment!) to 2 parts creeped because a middle-aged man followed me into the covered part of a parking lot to tell me I looked hot. And that's a little creepy, y/y? But it's ok. Cause it was in the day time. And he drove away when I didn't say anything. So, despite the creepy, I'm going to take that experience as a good one. And perhaps from now on I shall wear leggings with this dress.

Here are a couple of our puppies. They are exhausted after having play-fought and barked. The noisy noisy noisy one is Penelope, she calms down most of the time when you pet her a little. We hear her alllllll night, with that little laugh-bark and whining. These two videos occurred within moments of each other:

One:


Two:

Here is what is going on in my (crazy) life right now:

**One of the cats is sick, we think. He's eating, he's social, he seems fine, except that he is soooooo skinny. Like, frighteningly skinny. I can feel his ribs, and where they end - I can feel the points of his ribs. I could see them easily, they would be defined ribs, if we shaved him.

**We have puppies. Five of them. Totally and completely unexpected. We adopted a black lab, and her previous owners had neglected to spay her. I will refrain for the moment from ranting about the irresponsibility of this - at least when you let the animal run wild outside, if it's an indoor animal with slim chances of escaping, fine, whatever, but seriously, if you let it loose, what did you think was going to happen??? Aie. Anyway. We adopted her from a family who could no longer keep her, and made an appointment to spay her a week after she arrived at our home. Her third morning with us, she had puppies on Will's floor. We've never had puppies, or a pregnant dog before and had no idea what to look for or what to do, and thanks to some very nice people at the pound and a pet supply store, we are now armed with instructional books and pamphlets, a kiddie pool which will soon no longer be needed, food, and a puppy pen into which they will soon be moving.

They are yelp-y. Today they are two weeks and one day old, and they are so much bigger than they were at the beginning. They are starting to try and walk (they're having a spot of trouble with those back legs), they've got their eyes open, and they are sniffing things and panting and starting to groom each other (poorly). I love dogs, don't get me wrong, I am totally totally a dog person (though I do love cats, especially if they have a strong character, I think I am slightly allergic. and I just like dogs better.) but we're a little stressed here. We bargained for one more dog, in addition to our dog of eight years, and I thought that might even be too much for my family, but now we are dealing with five (adorable but totally unplanned for and high maintenance) puppies, plus two adult dogs. I made the mistake of naming one Penelope and now I am going to be sad when she goes, but we can't have three, and I can't commit to a dog my first year at UCSD. I have no idea whether or not I would be able to afford one, both in terms of money and time. But I still want one. My plan is to see how things go for the first year, and then to add a dog to my life if I think I can handle it. Oy.

**I want a Prius. Mom drove one to Des Moines for a conference. She got a little over 50 mpg. I am in love. I'm still paying off my beetle (1999, silver, manual, now a bit over 120,000, moon roof), bought January 2006, but I'm thinking about selling or trading in as early as this summer depending on what is going on in my life moving-wise and financially, but more likely this December/January when people are buying new year cars and getting rid of their old ones. Hrrrrmmmmm.... Oh low gas mileage, you are so incredibly sexy.

**Speaking of incredibly sexy, I went on a thing with a guy. I don't think it was quite a date. We got coffee together at a coffee shop in town, and it was really nice. We talked for over an hour and accidentally ran out of time on our car meters. I like him, I think he's nice, and I think he's cute. He's not hot, but definitely cute. I would even say bordering on adorable. He's a little shy/awkward, but that makes me feel a little better cause I totally am, too. Usually I can play it pretty cool while flirting with someone, but then after it's over I'm like a;lhf;aoihef;oaihgf;oaihfg;wlwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!?!?!?!?!!! - but usually in my head. Syllable for syllable, that is totally what happens. Sort of.

Anyway, it's kind of an interesting situation: he's a resident at the hospital here in neurology (which is fucking sexy. Brain = Sexy, in my opinion, but then, I am a linguist-in-training.) and my mom has been wanting to set us up for quite a while. He's in his (later?) 20s. He came over to see the puppies, he was checking them out for a friend whose husband might be a little upset about a dog/puppy, but she really wants one. Macey (the lab) was being a little growly and protective, so I put a laundry basket in the door-frame and sat with her and pet her while he looked at the puppies from the bathroom. He was such a sweetheart, he got down on his knees so as not to loom over the dog, and I thought that was very kind and thoughtful of him. We've had people walk in and she growls or barks and bares her teeth, and they're just like *Huh?* and don't move, but he was respectful and tried to make her comfortable.

So he was going to leave, and I said "So my mom said I should ask you out for coffee." And he said, "Yeah, I think she's working us from both angles, I was gonna warn you about that..." So we ended up going out to the coffee place that I'm thinking of applying to here (it's wonderful, fair trade and organic, I am a fan), and we had fun. I should have asked him out at the end, but I kind of froze up. I think I'm going to call him tomorrow and explain that I may be in town for longer than I thought, and ask if he wants to go out on a real date.

Opinions?

**I'm freaking out about summer plans. I have three semi-logical choices. They follow in chronological order, according to date of conception:

Go to San Francisco.
Pros:
Tal-tal
Gill
Court
Penny
Fun
California
Easy access to one cousin's wedding and another cousin's graduation
Cons:
M-O-N-E-Y - how am I going to save anything for school??
Stress - moving to SF and then moving again to San Diego? That's a lot of move-age. Also, money.

Stay at home (would live out at Dad's farm/office, not in house with family):
Pros:
Money. Wouldn't have to pay rent. Would only need to make car payments, and pay for gas and such.
More time, probably.
Running trails
Dogs
Possibility of spending quality time with brothers
Money.
Friends from home (all four of them, at least for some amount of time)
Possibility of starting a thing with the guy (dependent on his feelings, obvi.)
Money.

Cons:
Very real possibility of losing a little part of my mind (depression much? this is a rather weighty con.)
Iowa is fucking hot in the summer, and really humid
Not living in San Francisco

Go to San Diego:
Pros:
Get established in SD before I start grad program
Work (hopefully!) in organic coffee house - yay yay barista-ing. I miss my espresso machine.
Possibility of keeping job part time through 1st year at least to supplement my rather meager TA salary
Saving money for a month or so by living with Nonna
Time and means to search for an agreeable living situation

Cons:
I don't want to lose out on the exciting-ness of a new place before school starts
Would start at 9/hour (not including tips), which is not an exorbitant amount in relation to what I would need
Not living in San Francisco

Opinions?

**Randomly: I have been noticing recently how my left biceps is so much nicer and stronger than my pathetic right biceps. Thank you crew for making me lopsided. However, it is my fault that I haven't done anything to try and even myself out. Uggggh.

**My family is completely insane and if I live with them this summer I might lose my mind a little. Hopefully, though I would get it back after moving away again.

**My money from France is fucking still not in my fucking bank account. Fuck. Fuck shit fuck. *Heads off to write another email saying "Putain, où se trouve mon argent de merde??"*

**I really, really, really miss Bryn Mawr friends. A lot. I was really sad on May Day when I was here and not there.

**Track 10 (Videotape) from Radiohead's In Rainbows makes me want to cry. I am listening to a little stand up comedy in order to try to balance my mood.

Whenever I come back it is always the same story. I intend to reflect on why this might be in more depth at a later time, when I have more energy. Home for > 1.5 weeks = bad news.

I just wanted to put this in here before I forgot it -

I saw a funny progression of signs as I was driving back from dropping my Dad off at a business meeting in Cedar Rapids. They follow here in order:

*God is Pro-Life, Are You?*

*National Guard Armory*

*Woody's Show Club*

Goodness. Am I in the midwest or what?

Oh man. Family's interesting.

In happier news, I missed my freebox sweatshirt and now I am wearing it and it is exciting.

Yay sweatshirt!

I'm with H in London and it is wonderful to see her! She is copying recipes from her great-grandmother's notebook (grandmother's school notebook that great-grandmother appropriated for recipes) and it is just so cool to see these recipes in this old book in her great-grandmother's handwriting. I lived with my great-grandmother, but I can barely remember her. She wasn't the type to keep a recipe book, though, I don't think. Someday I may tell you a little about our interesting family history. Anyway, family recipe book = neato.

I'm still having trouble thinking of English words and phrases - I keep starting sentences in English that I intended to use in a French way. This morning, for example, I was putting jam back in the fridge and I said "This can go ..." and was stuck cause I was thinking "n'importe où", which means "no matter where"/"doesn't matter where" and I was just stuck standing there for a moment cause I couldn't figure out what to put there in English, and I ended up just pointing at the door. Now, I guess, thinking about it I could have said "anywhere", "this can go anywhere?" but it still sounds a little odd. Goodness. I keep having to stop myself from using French words, like agacer/agaçant, or empêcher, or whatever. This is going to be interesting. I'm glad I'll be teaching French next year.

Lastly but not leastly, here is a poem I got from a book review from a Goodreads friend. A Goodreads acquaintance? It's from a collection of Robert Graves poetry. Robert Graves is apparently not terribly exciting or revolutionary, but I liked the poetry example they picked out, so I am going to post it before I forget about it.

WARNING TO CHILDREN
(Robert Graves)

Children, if you are to think
Of the greatness, rareness, muchness,
Fewness of this precious only
Endless world in which you say
You live, you think of things like this:
Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
Red and green, enclosing tawny
Yellow nets, enclosing white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where a neat brown paper parcel
Tempts you to unite the string,
In the parcel a small island,
On the island a large tree,
On the tree a husky fruit.
Strip the husk and cut the rind off:
In the center you will see
Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
Red and green, enclosed by tawny
Yellow nets, enclosed by white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where the same brown paper parcel--
Children, leave the string untied!
For who dares undo the parcel
Finds himself at once inside it,
On the island, in the fruit,
Blocks of slate about his head,
Finds himself enclosed by dappled
Green and red, enclosed by yellow
Tawny nets, enclosed by black
And white acres of dominoes,
But the same brown paper parcel
Still untied upon his knee.
And, if he then should dare to think
Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
Greatness of this endless only
Precious world in which he says
He lives -- he then unties the string.



I like it. But I am not sure I understand what he is trying to say.

In a happy way?

I just formally accepted UCSD's offer of admission. Their offer of financial support was significantly greater than that of UBC.

I am equal parts ecstatic and sad -

overjoyed that:

I have finally made the decision -
I won't have to worry too much about money (no more than the average grad student, anyway) -
I get to do graduate work in linguistics and pursue a Ph.D. with an awesome group of students and faculty-
I get to be in lovely, Sunny San Diego with friends and Nonna.

disappointed that:

I don't get to work with Pat Shaw, Doug Pulleyblank and others -
I don't get to live in green, gorgeous Vancouver, or Canada. Yet.

All in all, I think we're good! So, if you ever want to come visit me, you know where to find me :)

< sarcasm > When housing adds are in all caps doesn't it just, like, make the accommodations seem so much more awesome? < /sarcasm >

Other housing ad-related reasons my eyes/brain hurt:
*caps, again, just because it really is that annoying
*using "quite" instead of "quiet". ("Wow, what a quite neighborhood!" "Would you please be quite?" -"It's lovely, isn't it?" "Quiet!"- hahaha. Oh no.)
*"brandnew". You do know that there are actually supposed to be two separate words there, right?
*using "an" where "a" should be used, or vice versa
*calling an attic a 'sanctuary room' and attaching a picture of it that features a really creepy looking doll.
*"Fuly" furnished.
*"Spacial" (meaning either special or spacious, it was rather ambiguous.)
*"For International Female Student Only" - I do hope there is a non-sketchy reason for this. I see it a lot. There can't be that many creeps out there, right?
*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Goodness. I think it's pissing me off more than usual cause I have a sinus headache, and am also PMS-ing. Isn't that lovely? I think so. I'm sure I do stuff like this that pisses people off. But it can't be that bad. Furthermore, I'm not trying to sell/advertise anything. I don't know that I could live someone who screws up "quite" and "quiet". Maybe if they were really cool? Or smart but just a shitty speller? Or dyslexic? Argh.

Two things. One:

I would have Ingrid Michaelson's babies:

The Way I Am



Breakable


Dear ghazal,
I love you.
-me

Two:

Another gem of wisdom from the gchat adventures of beej and kats -

me:
there's a funny taste in my wine.
boo.
I spent 4 Euro on the bottle.
not exactly high quality, so I shouldn't be complaining...
sometimes there's a taste in reds which bothers me.
the only word I have to describe it is kind of fishy.
doesn't that sound gross?
I think so.
kat:
yes, very gross
fish wine
i disapprove
me:
me too.
fish and wine are delicious together, as long as the fish tastes like (fresh) fish, and the wine does NOT taste like fish.
goodness people.
kat:
yes!
me:
perhaps I just have odd tastebuds.
kat:
yes
*trying really hard not to make that dirty*

In conclusion, beej should perhaps be more guarded with her musings around kat, and also, wine should NOT taste like fish. The end.

Frommmmmmmm a couple weeks ago. Oops.

N, wrt her students: They don't listen to me because I'm not French. *thinks* Or a man.

Hehehe.


In other news, I am compiling mixes. It is great fun. And a great procrastination tool. I think I may try and designate one day a week for the posting of a mix, or perhaps a mini-mix, or even just briefly discussing a song or an artist, or the music in a show or a movie. Not that I am in any way qualified to do this, I just think it's fun. I'm also pondering the possibility of making one day a literary day, for the posting of poems, book excerpts, or quotes from wherever (just about anything performed or written, I feel, should be fair game).
Yup.

Thoughts?

Sight
I've recently been noticing how much I rely on visual metaphors. An example: my phonology book was talking about the "discrepancies" between an underlying and surface representation, and in parentheses said "(... or "distance" ...)" and it just clicked into place in my head. I of course understood 'discrepancies', but the use of 'distance' made it so much clearer (visual metaphor there, too!), so much more concrete (sense of touch metaphor, interestingly, seems better suited). The simple switch to 'distance' helped me 'see' what he was talking about instead of trying to understand it. I almost said 'trying to visualize it'. Furthermore (oops, almost said 'en plus'), 'distance' gives the in this case important concept of the degree of discrepancy - how far is it between where we started and where we end up?

I've noticed before that I do much better with visual stimuli, but I hadn't really considered my apparent reliance on visual metaphor, and I'm starting to wonder about the connectedness of the two. I mean, when you see something, the image in your mind is a reproduction, a metaphor even, for the concrete thing you are perceiving. I've never really tried to consider any of this in detail. It's interesting to me, but I don't know what exactly I will get out of it. I'm glad I have somewhere to put the thought, instead of just letting it fade away (visual, again! so cool). Have you noticed anything like this about yourself? Do you tend to use any sensory metaphors or figures of speech more often than others? Anybody use a different sense more? Sight seems so central to me, but I'm betting that's because I use it so often. I can't decide if that helps me or acts as a crutch - a crutch, meaning, I guess, that I rely on it so much that I would flounder without it. Does using visual metaphor so extensively cause difficulty in thinking outside that particular box? Perhaps. I think it simultaneously helps and hinders me. I wonder how I can test that?

I think this is one reason I'm so crazy about linguistics - so much of the theory is couched in the visual: geometry, tree structures, symmetry, etc. Now, I wonder, is it inherently easier to understand that way for some reason, or is it just put into those terms because the people coming up with the theories are relying on visual terms? Is there a connection between those two reasons?

Cool. Very very cool. I have no idea what I'm going to do with this, or if there's anything to do with it. I think there is something to do with it, but I don't really know what. Fun.

Sound
On a completely separate sensory note, here are some songs I am listening to at the moment. It is completely eclectic, and I don't think I would recommend it in a mix. I blame House, M.D. for three of them.

Blame House:
Follow the Leader - Matthew Ryan (Heartbreakingly sad, beautiful beautiful beautiful)
In the Deep - Bird York (unfolding/rolling, slow, melancholy, pretty. Reminds me heavily of Mazzy Star)
Baba O'Riley - The Who (sweet)

Blame Me:
Lovely Day - Donavon Frankenreiter (light-hearted and wonderful)
Far Far - Yael Naïm
Young Soul - Yael Naïm (ok, this one, you can blame Apple. Not a fan of the MacBook Air, but the song is nice)
Life Less Ordinary - Carbon Leaf
Various Julie Doiron
Various Madeleine Peyroux

Blame ghazal:
Various Ingrid Michaelson (especially liking The Way I Am)
*blames*

ETA:
In fact, Into the Deep by Bird York is NOT what I meant. I had Into Dust stuck in my head, which, surprise surprise, is by Mazzy Star, which, I suppose, is why it reminded me so much of her. Woops! Into the Deep belongs up there, too, so we'll just add Into Dust - Mazzy Star. Good!

...Touch?
My hip has been hurting more the past week or so, for some reason. Why? Don't know. *sighs* Yoga is in my future.

This is what Phillipe said when I spoke to him about our most recent apartment problem, which I will describe to you in a moment. His phrase means something like "shit, this is insane, huh?" --> 'putain' actually means 'whore' or 'prostitue', but is used like we use the word 'shit', as in, 'oh shit'. Or maybe 'crap', would be more accurate, because kids run around saying it. 'Oh, putain!' Hee. 'C'est la folie' is 'It's the folly/the craziness', or, less literally, 'It's/This is crazy/nuts/insane.'

And it is! Let me tell you about it. So, there is construction work being done on the apartment at the moment, and there is consequently scaffolding all around the building. The zone all around the scaffolding, and thus all around the building, is a hard hat area. There are two doors that lead directly from the outside into the apartment. One is at the front, and is blocked by scaffolding bars at about waist (actual waist) height for me, maybe a tiny bit lower. Let's say bellybutton height. We had been leaving through this door, because it is our only direct door out of the apartment. The other door comes in through the basement but it requires a key that we until very very recently did not have. One day the construction workers caught me leaving through the front door and were upset. I explained that it is our only way to leave the apartment, and they said they would talk to the administration. The next week, the same thing happened to C. Eventually, we worked it out so that we would walk through the hallway (providing the hallway door stay unlocked) and exit through the IUFM main building during business hours. If we wanted to leave or reenter the apartment after 6pm (or however early Nicole decides to lock the doors) or before 8am, we could, they supposed, duck under the scaffolding. They're so lucky we're not handicapped. Or taller. Or less bendy.

Anyway, this was working fine until when I arrived back from vacation. Apparently, someone had gotten through an unlocked door somewhere and had stolen something (having to do with coffee, I think, in one of the school buildings? It was very fast, I didn't understand what she was saying) and so they re-did the lock on the basement door and gave us keys. Two keys. There are three of us. C and I are going to make another copy this afternoon, and they said they would reimburse her. We'll see if that actually happens. It had better. I still haven't received any reimbursement for my pointless trip to Longwy, despite four emails. So, now we have a key to get in through the front, and a key to get in through the basement. Which, incidentally, is also a hard hat area. The last time I tried to exit through there, the workers said I should go through the hallway, which I tried to do, but it was locked because of the theft. I ended up sneaking out under the scaffolding at the front of the house. I visited Phillipe today to ask about the door, and told him that the workers suggested we use the hallway. He got a little upset and said that the workers couldn't tell them what to do, and that we can leave through the front door. I replied that that was fine with me, as long as the workers stop yelling at us when we try to leave the house. He said that he would talk to them upon his next opportunity. Excellent.

So, instead of trusting us with keys to the hallway (which was often left unlocked, even before the construction), we get to duck under scaffolding and walk around in hard hat areas with no protection. C (jokingly) thinks we should keep sets of hard hats by both doors.

I'm half waiting for a worker to be assigned to sit above one door or the other with a brick, watching to drop it on our heads when we try to leave the apartment, just to say, 'ha! and that's why you shouldn't screw around in hard hat areas!'

Oy. In other news, I may go to Nancy tomorrow. Or Friday. This weekend will be the weekend of massive cleaning and sorting of papers. I'm excited.