In the immortal words of Socrates, "...I drank what?"

In a happy way?

I just formally accepted UCSD's offer of admission. Their offer of financial support was significantly greater than that of UBC.

I am equal parts ecstatic and sad -

overjoyed that:

I have finally made the decision -
I won't have to worry too much about money (no more than the average grad student, anyway) -
I get to do graduate work in linguistics and pursue a Ph.D. with an awesome group of students and faculty-
I get to be in lovely, Sunny San Diego with friends and Nonna.

disappointed that:

I don't get to work with Pat Shaw, Doug Pulleyblank and others -
I don't get to live in green, gorgeous Vancouver, or Canada. Yet.

All in all, I think we're good! So, if you ever want to come visit me, you know where to find me :)

< sarcasm > When housing adds are in all caps doesn't it just, like, make the accommodations seem so much more awesome? < /sarcasm >

Other housing ad-related reasons my eyes/brain hurt:
*caps, again, just because it really is that annoying
*using "quite" instead of "quiet". ("Wow, what a quite neighborhood!" "Would you please be quite?" -"It's lovely, isn't it?" "Quiet!"- hahaha. Oh no.)
*"brandnew". You do know that there are actually supposed to be two separate words there, right?
*using "an" where "a" should be used, or vice versa
*calling an attic a 'sanctuary room' and attaching a picture of it that features a really creepy looking doll.
*"Fuly" furnished.
*"Spacial" (meaning either special or spacious, it was rather ambiguous.)
*"For International Female Student Only" - I do hope there is a non-sketchy reason for this. I see it a lot. There can't be that many creeps out there, right?
*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Goodness. I think it's pissing me off more than usual cause I have a sinus headache, and am also PMS-ing. Isn't that lovely? I think so. I'm sure I do stuff like this that pisses people off. But it can't be that bad. Furthermore, I'm not trying to sell/advertise anything. I don't know that I could live someone who screws up "quite" and "quiet". Maybe if they were really cool? Or smart but just a shitty speller? Or dyslexic? Argh.

Yay! Was on vacation in Paris, in and around Tours, and for two days in Metz (where I checked my email once, but that was about it) with Mom. It was fantastic! We saw so much! I feel like I have great stories, but I'm actually sick at the moment, so you only get two, and neither of them actually have anything to do with the vacation.

Number 1:
I got into UBC! Yay! Woohoooo! I am excited. And relieved. And I feel oh so validated. But now I am also facing a dilemma - UCSD, or UBC? What shall I do?? I've been back and forth over and over, making one decision then the other, then reversing them again. I don't know. Both schools have amazing programs, faculty, resources, etc., I think I could be truly happy at either place. I've always wanted to live in the Northwest, and, who knows, may never get a chance to again. But, being in San Diego has definite perks as well - I've got lots of friends and family in California, my grandmother lives in San Diego, and I'll never have an opportunity to live so close to her again, most likely. We're very close, cause I lived with her and my mother and my great-grandmother for nearly five years when I was little. And she would be so ecstatic if I came to live there. But I can't make my decision that way, or, I could, but I don't want to. Either way, I will be closer to that part of my family than I've been in a long time, so I could look at it as a win-win situation.

I think it will probably come down to financial assistance. I have a guesstimate from UCSD, and no info from UBC, but in either case nothing is concrete yet, they are still waiting for financial information themselves, seeing if they were awarded the money they expected, etc. So, that may give me a hand in deciding.

I'm so lucky, and so happy to have a choice. The hard part is that it needs to be made. I shall keep you updated on my inner turmoil regarding this situation. If anybody has any suggestions, tell me? Thanks!

Number 2:

This is perhaps the most ironically funny picture I have ever taken, and I am in love with it:




This is a photo taken in Strasbourg, walking around Petite France. We (we meaning me, roommate C, and C's friend from the US who is living in France for a semester) went on a walkway over the water behind some stores, and I noticed an old, sad, discarded Christmas tree wrapped in netting in the canal, underneath a store. What makes this so funny is that the store is a Christmas store. I will now translate the writing on the door for you.

From top to bottom, in French:
Un Noël en Alsace
Venez retrouver l'Authenticité des Traditionnels "Marché de Noel" d'Alsace
Une visite s'impose!
Entrée Libre au 10, rue des Dentelles
Par La Place Benjamin Six <-- à 50 m
Par Le Pont St Martin <-- à 70 m

And, in English, for the most part:
(A) Christmas in Alsace
Come rediscover the authenticity of the traditional 'Christmas Market' of Alsace
You must visit! (Literally, A visit imposes itself!)
Free/Open entry at 10 Lace(s) Road (Road of Laces, Lace, like, the material)
50 meters by Benjamin 6 Place (probably a square)
70 meters by the St Martin Bridge

I think it's hilarious. It made my morning.

Well, that's all for now, folks, cause I'm sick and my head's a little swimmy at the moment. I'm going to watch something until I fall asleep. Goodnight!

Oh my GOD I'm going to go INSANE if I don't hear from them soon.

Ah.

Ah ah ah.

I accidentally slept four hours this afternoon because I couldn't sleep last night and I was exhausted...

I should go get a beer so I can sleep tonight. Right? Maybe? I could go get a pack of beers from the 8 à huit...

Or I could go to a bar and get a beer and be anti-social and read something...

Dear god.

*calms, breathes, feels slightly less like puking*

I'm really not dealing well with stress right now, am I? Maybe I should do some yoga. And breathe. Again.

Um.

So.

I was just accepted to UCSD. For the Ling Ph.D. program.

Wow.

I don't know what I'm going to do.


It's an awesome program, and great for phonology, and really exciting.

Can I tell you what my first reaction was, though?
Something along the lines of: Oh my god maybe UBC isn't a lost cause, maybe I'll get in there, fuck fuck fuck, I really want that acceptance letter...

Huh. What should I make of that?


God, the waiting SUCKS, but I will wait as long as I need to to get one more 'YES'.

*pleads*

well. still not terribly surprised, but I've just gotten a no from UCLA as well.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

fuck fuck fuck.

fuck.


UCBerkeley: no
UCLA: no
UCSD: ?
UBC: ?

aaaahahahahahaha... that was not laughing but crying.

I hate this part of the game.

fuck. What if I don't make it anywhere??

Granted, UCLA is the best place for ling on the West Coast, like MIT but next to the Pacific. Santa Cruz is supposedly also great, but does a lot of OT, which I'm not looking for. No OT fanaticism for me, thanks but no thanks.

I may have some coherent thoughts on this at a later time.

For the moment, shit shit shit *desperately pleads with any deities that may be listening*.

Have just sent my initial statement of interest/questions about the application process to Contact at UBC. Eeek. Eek eek.

weeheeee \:D

God, this is going to be a lot of work...

Ok. So, I have been meaning to get on livejournal for months now, and have finally reached a point of business where the procrastinative creation of an actual post was inevitable. I guess I will start out by saying that I am creating this journal as a way to get myself to talk, really. I feel like I should be keeping a journal, but all past attempts in paper versions have been short-lived, so hey, I'm trying this! I need to play around with settings, and what-not, but not right now so much.

Anyway.

I have had very little sleep, and am feeling contemplative and long-winded. I have a feeling I am going to sound rather formal (if you know me, chances are, you are not surprised). You don’t like it, bite me. Or just don’t read it :).
I am currently on a plane, flying from San Francisco back to Philadelphia, getting ready for school to start up again after fall break. For some reason, my mind feels very awake right now, so naturally instead of wasting it on school work I am composing a first post for livejournal. I have spent the past week visiting graduate programs in California. They were all pretty nice, but I have to say that right now I am just really really in love with Canada. UBC has stolen my heart. I found it much in the way that I found my undergraduate school – through the off-hand suggestion of a friend. In this case, it was actually one of my major advisors, but I would like to consider him a friend, too :). I don’t know why such situations appeal to me. I guess I enjoy serendipity! Am currently developing an ulcer, however, over the worry that they might not want me. I think I am pretty competitive, and I would give them my first-born. Also, a damn-good dissertation.
I am trying to become comfortable with the validity of choosing schools partially based on location. After all, I am going to be living there for five years or more, and I am very sensitive to my environment. Vancouver is amazing. It’s phenomenally beautiful, and eco-conscious, and metropolitan, and international, and friendly, and relaxed. Granted, I was only there for a day, but that’s the vibe I got, and the one I continue to get as I find more about it online and through other people. I just, I really like it. Of course, I am not going to choose a place based solely on location. Thankfully, UBC has an excellent department and is internationally recognized as pretty hot shit. Not quite like MIT or UCLA, but hey, you know what? I don’t really need them. Am applying anyway, but I don’t know that I would be happy at either place. LA. *shudder* And the competition at MIT? I don’t know. I am competitive, and I like a challenge, but something about it just feels so petty. So. UBC? If you are listening, I love you and want to spend at least the next five years of my life with you. I’m (a) cool (nerd). And smart. And fun. So accept me, and give me money so I don’t die. Please? Thank you.

To Do:
Write thank you notes: H.R., L.M., A.A., E.B., D.B., C.W., B.H., woman from Davis – card in bag, E.S., G.H., Y. K., Tal-tal’s parents… anyone else?

Write to D.P. and other cool phon. people to talk about how it is for them at their respective universities

Finish sci-soc post about how I am a tool but sometimes have good ideas when I admit I sometimes can’t handle things all by myself and it’s ok to take anti-depressants. Sorry if that sounds melodramatic, but it’s true. I don’t like admitting that I need help, and I really screwed myself over recently because I was being a stubborn ass. I think this runs in my family.

Quick side note: Bjork. You are so weird. But I love you. Sometimes.

Read about metrical grids versus metrical trees.

Send E. default low analysis with freak-out addendum reading something like “why doesn’t this work, and I feel stupid”. Also, addendum asking how the land of cheese and big lakes is treating him and his family.

Get over self. The harder you try to make everything perfect, the worse things are probably going to get. Things don't have to be perfect, and I don't have to be perfect to be valid. I heard the best quote this weekend from T’s dad: “Perfection is the enemy of the possible.” - w.m. I love it. May at least temporarily adopt it as motto. I think I must be worried. My other motto so far this year has been “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” –troosevelt. Am obviously trying to calm myself down. Note to self: do not turn into Nonna. Self-calm is good, as long as it doesn’t become an excuse to always freak out.

Write thesis first draft. Right. No biggie. Excuse me. I think I need to go be sick. *calms self*

Ok. Point? Working on adopting new attitude. Relax. Everything works out in the end. You are smart. You can handle it. In fact, it will be great. You just need to stop worrying about it enough to actually DO it. Cool. You are doing something totally exciting, and fun. You like it, so enjoy it while you are doing it. Simple. The first draft is just that: a suggestion, a stepping-stone to further drafts.

Also, and on a completely separate note, I am thinking about sex all the freaking time right now. Somehow, people do not expect this. Dammit, I am a highly sexual person. Apparently I don’t give off that vibe. I should make an attachable sign. It can be neon and flashing. Classy.

Ok. I will leave you, friends, on that lovely note. If you want a picture of where I am right now, just imagine me sitting at a computer alternately biting things, like my fingers or spare writing utensils or anything that is handy, tapping feet/twitching, smiling/laughing somewhat neurotically, groaning in frustration. If I look blank and distracted, then I am probably thinking about sex. Glad I could paint that for you.

Now go do something useful. :D